This Is Peru!

This Is Peru!

December 7, 2011

New section 139 of the D & C - LOL‏

Jordan sent this to Deb and I today.  It is pretty funny, but also says that he would love to receive letters from home.  Those that have served a mission know what letters mean.  So click on the attachment and open it up. 

This section 139 of the D & C,  at least the missionary version.  It is pretty funny.!

 This is Jordan's last Christmas, so if you can, drop him a letter or email

Have a great Thanksgiving and Christmas!


Enjoy this, haha. I just translated it. :)

Secretario Financiero
Misión Perú Cuzco
(51) 984-503-861
(51) 084-242-521
RPM #623574


Revelation given through the Elders of Israel to the Saints of the Ward and various friendships. While they were scattered preaching the Everlasting Gospel in the remotest regions of Perú, they found a number of vessels, in them containing various papyri of unknown origin. They were brought to Elder Christensen to be the translated, the following was obtained.

1-11 Family and friends are encouraged to be more diligent in correspondence to their Elders en the mission field;

12-17 Referral to the parable of the two friends;

18-28 The consequences of fidelity to choose the right are mentioned;

29-38 We are reminded that all documents should be sent promptly;

 39-42 An allegory to the promise of Malachi;
43-46 A final exhortation to everyone.

For behold, the day will come when many shall say: A letter! A letter! We have written a letter! Why do we need to write more letters?

2 O fools! Why do ye murmur? Do ye not know that there are more than one day? And thus, more than one event in said day? Why do ye think that such events need not be written?

3 Why do ye think that we having already received a letter that we should not receive another? For behold, the mission is not over yet.

4 For it has been commanded that all men in both the East and West, even in the North and South, and in the islands of the sea, that they should write letters to your missionary (My servant Elder Christensen).

5 And then the postman will say, “I will give to missionaries letter on letter, package by package, a little here, a little there.”

6 Therefore you must be constantly writing letters, for he who writes without ceasing will not be found guilty at the last day.

7 Verily, verily, I say unto you: you should not send postcards, behold, these are small.

8 Woe, woe, unto him who says: “All is well in the mission,” the missionaries have received their letter and they need no more.

9 For they have written many family and friends but have not written back. And why then did they not write back?

10 Because their hearts are set upon the things of this world and do not aspire to the friendship of the missionaries.

11 For what good is a mailbox if no letter is written? Why then, were post offices built?

12 Hear ye this parable! To see if ye derive wisdom: “At the twelfth hour of the day a Pharisee and a Publican sat down to write a letter to a missionary.

13 And behold, the Pharisee thought of many things to write, but he thought so much… he did not write anything.

14 However, he rejoiced in his heart for his good intention.

15 And the Publican, wrote during lunch, but felt guilty about how little he wrote.

16 And behold, two years passed and the missionary returned home and passed the Pharisee’s house, but visited him not.

17 And he passed the house of the Publican, and visited him, and they rejoiced together.”

18 For verily I say unto you, unto whom a letter is written, a letter is required.

19 Now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that even still you doubt in your hearts; for this, I have been asked to speak concerning these things.

20 For the one who hears the voice of truth, shall know then that one must write letters. For the voice of the evil one does not teach a man to write letters, but it teaches man that he does not need to write letters.

21 Behold, I say unto you yet again that ye must constantly write letters and do nothing without first writing a letter to the missionaries who are in the field.

22 For this is the time to remember your missionaries; yes, behold, the day in which ye must write letters.

23 And now, as it is recommended you many times, I beg you not to procrastinate the day to write your letters until the end, for behold, after these two years that have been given you to write your missionaries, if ye do not improve your time during these two years, then cometh a day when my servants shall complete their missions and
come home, where you can not write letters.

24 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, I will write to my missionary. Nay, ye cannot say this; for it shall be too late.

25 And in that day there will be many who shall say: “Elder… Elder… Did we not send a postcard in your name? And to your name a card for your birthday and another at Christmas?”

26 And then will I profess unto them: I never knew you; depart from me, ye that write not.

27 A true friend can not send short letters, as such a bad friend can not send long letters.

28 And every friend who does not write any letter shall be cast out, and there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

29 And by their letters ye shall know them.

30 Oh the vanity and ingenuity of man! For they believe they are wise when they are not, and leave their letters to one side assuming soon to find a stamp. Behold, these will not be preserved and their letters perish with them.

31 O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn to quickly take thy letters to the mailbox.

32 Do not leave thy letters on the table where the soot and moth corrupt them and where thieves read and steal.

33 Instead, place thy letters in the mailbox where neither moth nor soot can corrupt them, and where thieves do not read or steal.

34 Nor write letters like the hypocrite, using large letters that makes his letters seem to be long. For I say unto you, they have their answer.

35 Moreover, when you write thine letters, use small print, and paper large in size.

36 Therefore, he who hears these things and doeth them, he shall be compared to a wise man who sent his letter as “priority”.

37 And came the rain and winds lashing the plane, but it did not fall. For it was a Boeing 747.

38 But he who hears these things and doeth them not, he shall be like unto the fool, the letter sent by boat, and when the rains and winds battered the boat, it deflated and sank, and great was the misery of the man.

39 Will a man rob the mailbox? Yet ye have robbed the mailman. But ye say, Wherin have we robbed thee? In your letters and parcels.

40 Bring ye all the letters to the mailbox and have parcels in hand, and prove me now herewith, saith your friend the missionary, if I will not open the doors of my house and serve you a roast with salads until there shall not be room enough to receive it.

41 And neighbors shall call you blessed, because the smell the roast at a distance of a stones throw and it be a desirable thing, saith thy friend the missionary.

42 Behold, I will send the chef who prepares the food before me, so long as each who feasteth, was faithful unto me in his letters and parcels.

43 Now my dear brothers I would like to tell you all the ways and means for you to send your letters; for they are without number.

44 But this I can tell you, that if ye send not thy letters, packages, gifts and sweets and remember not your missionaries who are in the field, then ye must be cast off forever.

45 For verily I say no letter will not be received with joy, though, perhaps (for lack of time) can not be answered.

46 Oh! Remember my brethren these things I have said that ye not perish, behold, I will be waiting for your response every day until the end of the mission. Even so, Amen.

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